Interested in a clinical view of sex? We talked frequency, bedroom misconceptions and dirty text messages with Lisa Paz, Miami sex therapist and adjunct professor at UM and Miami Dade.

What issues do you see most frequently as a sex therapist?
Low desire - lots of women want to want sex, but they don’t want it.
So what’s the prescription?
You have to put sex back on the to do list, quite literally. People are really resistant to this because we’re sold on the idea that sex should be spontaneous, but from a clinical & a logistical perspective it just doesn’t make sense.
How can we bring the sex back?
Leave love notes around the house. Send naughty text messages. Reestablish flirty behaviors. It doesn’t need to be a two-hour long affair, but it keeps you in your adult state of mind.
Any tricks to get in the mood during the day?
Make the decision that tonight is the night. For women in particular, as soon as sex is on the to do list they gear up for it. Clear all your other tasks up so you can really relax. Women need relief from stress to have sex, men use sex as a stress reliever. Go for a jog, take a bubble bath, be deliberate about carving out a mental space you can step into
How often should people schedule sex?
That’s a weird question because everyone wants a number and I won’t give one. I’m less concerned about frequency than I am about couples making an effort.
What are some of the more common misconceptions about sex?
That it’s spontaneous, that everyone should want it at exactly the same time. It’s less about you having a mutual spontaneous desire that it is about you responding to that desire.
Any other misconceptions?
That sex is always hot, lusty & steamy. The reality is sometimes it’s not and that’s ok.

Stay tuned next week for part 2 of our conversation with sexologist Lisa Paz. In the meantime, get more info at DrLisaPaz.com or 305-878-6236.