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Mommy is in my class?! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Mommy is in my class?!
To many parents, school is a mystery. Once your children enter the door, you won't see them again until dismissal. Such a big part of your child's life, and you're invisible. Your only connection seems to be through fliers in the backpack, homework, graded papers, open house night and from the back row of the occasional concert or assembly. But there are other ways to get involved in school life. Not to spy...read more...Your child's fresh start | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Your child's fresh start
The first day of school is like the first day of spring training. Optimism flows through the veins of children and parents. Everything is fresh: crisp uniforms, virgin notebooks, empty backpacks (except for some blank paper and newly sharpened pencils). Like baseball teams yet to play a game, the record is clean. Teachers smile at the doorway to greet their new charges with neither scowl nor red pen in sight. Friends...read more...Parents as groupies | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Parents as groupies
Mom and Dad step off the school bus and right into a knee-deep mud puddle. By the end of the trip, they are soaked to their skivvies by blinding sheets of rain, and seek out a HoJo's to warm up with some coffee and eggs. A week later, they are back on the bus. This time, they step into a swarm of locusts. What we do for our children. At least that's what my parents did for me, attending every single high school football game...read more...Staying sane as school arrives | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Staying sane as school arrives
With school peeking around the corner, comes a twinge of anxiety. The kids? Nah, they'll be fine. It's us parents who tend to freak out this time of year. Quick: What supplies do we need to get? Do we have enough uniforms? Is that summer reading list all done? Then there are last-minute doctor appointments and the school orientation sessions. And don't forget the back-to-school shopping with the big tax breaks. When is that...read more...Summer break is canceled | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Summer break is canceled
Dear Parents, Effective June 2011, summer break will be canceled and classes will run year-round. According to the latest studies, our students are losing months of learning from mid-June until the resumption of classes in August. So in accordance with the new guidelines of the Academic Standards Society (ASS), the school calendar will change next year. Please make plans to cancel all fun from June 10-Aug. 20, 2011. This...read more...That kid is on a leash | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman That kid is on a leash
Do you walk your child on a leash? Back when we were young and childless, we squirmed when we saw parents and grandparents treating kids like the family dog. If the tyke tried to run off at Disney or the mall, one yank on the chain and he was back within the safety zone of his owner. Arf. Barf. We promised ourselves never to tie a leash on our girls. And we never did. Then they found their independence. One ran off in a...read more...A vacation with Grandma?! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A vacation with Grandma?!
Can three generations of a family survive a three-day road trip without ... -- Arguing over where to go? (Disney! Shuffleboard!) -- Bickering over what to eat? (McDonald's! Liver!) -- Stopping a zillion times to use the public facilities? (Too much water! Aging bladder!) -- Splitting up by interest when the purpose is to be together? (Ocean! Nap!) -- Disagreeing over the radio station? (Disney! Classical!) --...read more...Time to have a baby? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Time to have a baby?
The older mom in the play circle looked so relaxed compared with the first-timers. You could tell she had done this before. She was enjoying motherhood, not sleepwalking or panicking through it. More than 15 years had passed since the birth of her first child. She was older, wiser, calmer, more mature. She knows now what she didn't know then. And -- with a teen in the home -- she had a built-in helper. Which leads me to ask:...read more...How to change the family rhythm | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How to change the family rhythm
The nutty homework is gone. The 6 a.m. wake-ups are delayed. The break from school isn't only a break for kids, but one for parents as well. It's summer in the city. And it's time for families to take it down a notch. The school year comes packed with pressure for kids and parents. It's one thing after another -- starting with getting the dear ones out of bed in the morning. Then there are projects and...read more...Home alone!? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Home alone!?
When should a parent start leaving a child home alone? Hmm. 10, 12? Younger? Older? It depends on the kid, the parent and the situation. I don't remember seeing this question on the "fitness for parenting" test. And I'm not sure if there are any state statutes that set an age limit on kids going solo like Pippi Longstocking. So we seem to be all alone here in determining when and how we should leave a kid without...read more...Thank Mom on Father's Day | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Thank Mom on Father's Day
Dads are trying. We are taking more responsibility for the day-to-day care of our kids. And we're trying to balance it all at the office. The days of "Honey, I'm home!" are mostly ended. The days of "Honey, I'm home and I'll start dinner now!" are more common. But let's stop pretending Daddy has the Mommy gene. There's something about a child's wail of "I want...read more...Hit in the head with a book | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Hit in the head with a book
The tomes fill four bookcases, pile up on desks and tables, scatter across the floor. We are readers. And so far, the pages have been pulp, not pixel. We haven't purchased an e-reader. But we have purchased -- and borrowed -- a lot of bound books. Our girls -- ages 13 and soon-to-be-11 -- don't seem to notice that they could be reading from a screen instead of on paper. They haven't asked for a Kindle, a Nook,...read more...I am not the father of this baby | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman I am not the father of this baby
I held a baby again. It's been 10 years. Balanced on my lap, the kid looked like a bobblehead. Except there was squealing and drooling involved. After not dropping her on the head, the best part of holding this baby: I got to hand her back to her father when she started to squirm and cry. You see, I am just the out-of-town uncle. So my responsibilities include remembering the birthday and performing stupid...read more...Wear a uniform or go naked | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Wear a uniform or go naked
"Mommy! I have nothing to wear!" Although we still hear that familiar echo across the room as we try to get the girls ready to go somewhere, life is a bit easier on school days. Thank you, school uniform. Once upon a time, I despised the thought of uniformity. What could be more dehumanizing than turning our kids into robots, sapping their individuality by making them wear the same clothes every day? Plus, my...read more...Our kids are killing us | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Our kids are killing us
How will your kids remember you when you're gone? -- Will all the demands and parental blow-ups through the years wind up into a ball of "a tough childhood managed by a taskmaster"? -- Will the time you sent one kid to camp and not the other evolve into "I never was treated fairly compared with my sibling"? -- Will your wine nights be recalled as "she was someone who couldn't put down the...read more...You are NOT invited to this messy home | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman You are NOT invited to this messy home
I'd invite you for a cup of coffee this morning. Except .. our home is a mess. Maybe another time. Like in 15 years. Papers on the table. A sink brimming with dishes. Ripped-out wood flooring from a recent flood when the toilet exploded. I'm sure you understand, having kids yourself. Can parents possibly keep a neat nest -- never mind a picture-perfect home -- with kids around to feed the mess and then just leave it there?...read more...Parent to school: "You're fired!" | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Parent to school: "You're fired!"
We have fired a school. Actually, we have fired three. Not in the Donald Trump sort of way. But with quiet reason. And lots of discussion. We have fired a school bursting at the seams, where kids from several classes were packed together and the yelling of teachers next door sent our child home each day with a headache. We have fired a school that did not control the safety of its parking lot, where cars and kids faced down...read more...Tears at the school door | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Tears at the school door
The kid wouldn't stop wailing. Every morning. Same thing. Mom walks him up to the kindergarten door -- and then the flood of tears and the echoes of sniffles and hiccups follow. Poor kid. Poor mom. Her parental ulcer must have widened each morning. Seeing the scene, someone told this frustrated, sad mom: "Don't worry. He won't be crying through high school." The kid could have been me. I also was a wailer, beset by...read more...How to be a do-nothing family | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How to be a do-nothing family
A hush hangs over our home. It's "Goodnight Moon" in real life. Both girls are sleeping. The cats are draped lazily over chairs. The sun slowly squeezes out of the water. The mush warms on the stove. This morning will be special. A time of nothing. Just nothing. It's the end of a frenetic week of school, field trips, jury duty, work mania, anxiety over more work to be done, chores, errands, memos,...read more...The mealtime struggle | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The mealtime struggle
The turkey sat on the table in all its glory, spiced like Thanksgiving, and flanked by bowls of salad and soup. "I just want bread!" Yet dangle a slice of cold-cut turkey, nitrates and all, in front of the kid -- and it gets snapped up like a hungry puppy. Yes, this is my child. This is your child. This is everyone's child. Prepare an exquisite, real-food dinner, and the kid at the table turns up the nose....read more...The worrisome field trip | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The worrisome field trip
Field trips aren't what they used to be. When I was in fifth grade, we went to a museum. This year, my fifth-grader is going to Virginia. How do I feel about that? On one hand, I'm thrilled for this South Florida girl to see a new place, learn history, experience being on her own for a week (well, with a slew of chaperons ). On the other hand, are we smarter than a fifth-grader in arranging this? It's...read more...Warning! Do not drink this! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Warning! Do not drink this!
Oooh, this looks yummy. I recognize the name from my favorite jelly beans! And look, it's right here where I can reach it. It looks like the label says Jelly Belly grape. But there's liquid inside. It must be juice or a smoothie. I can't wait to taste it. Let me reach it. Got it. Yay! Acccchhhhhh!! Mommmmmyyyyyy! Hello, 911? Yes, my 4-year-old swallowed soap bubble solution. He must have thought it was...read more...It's all on the bedside table | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman It's all on the bedside table
What's the most important thing in your child's room? Comfy bed? Clean desk? Ample light? All nice to have. But nuh-uh. It's the bedside table, of course. This is the place where the love of your life puts the most prized possessions. It's the last base of operations before dreamy sleep. It's the first stop as the sun peeks through the window for wakeup time. The nightstand stands above...read more...Drive safely: Avoid the flying monkeys | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Drive safely: Avoid the flying monkeys
Those red-light cameras popping up in more and more South Florida cities have made me stop -- and think. They remind me of those old "Baby on Board" signs that new parents pasted on their cars, thinking that people would actually drive differently because a new arrival was inside. I snickered at those signs. All they did was partially obscure visibility -- not exactly safer for baby. It was hard to take "Baby on Board" signs...read more...Please welcome to the stage ... | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Please welcome to the stage ...
We don't realize how lucky we are in South Florida. We're surrounded by culture: music, art, dance, theater -- all hard to come by in smaller, less enlightened places. Of course, we also see our share of Disney ice shows, Sesame Street stage extravaganzas, bad flea-market circuses and bubble-gum pop queens. While there's nothing wrong with that kind of fun, the challenge we have is to expose kids to more...read more...Meet the sorry parents | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Meet the sorry parents
"Because I said so!" It's the battle cry of parents when all else fails. Why? Because we're always right, of course. Being a parent means never having to say you're sorry. We're in charge. And that's the way it is. Just listen to us go. Children should be seen and not heard. We are the high-and-mighty parent. You are the lowly child. Do what I say. Or else. Wait till your mother gets...read more...Free play is no fairy tale | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Free play is no fairy tale
Knock-knock. Who's there? It's Jack. Can Jill come out to play? Ahh, the big question knocks around my head. Should I let my 10-year-old loose on the streets with a neighborhood boy? There are cars, you know, and drivers who speed and back up without looking. And dangling palm fronds that could fall and hit her head and knock her out. And who is this boy, and does he do risky things like start fires with a...read more...Our family's brush with the law | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Our family's brush with the law
Have you taken your child to court lately? Yeah, we know he misbehaves once in awhile and can use some incarceration to set him straight. But we don't mean that. What kids learn from TV and textbooks, they also need to see in real life. So the school project on our legal system works better if they can see how it all works. A trip to the courthouse, with the blue-suited lawyers rushing in and out of the hallways with their...read more...When parents are the problem | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman When parents are the problem
Now I know where neurotic kids get it from. Face it, parents: We are just a little nutty. We do our kids' homework and projects. We rush to Five Guys Burgers and Fries to drop off lunch at school when the cupboard is bare. We worry that our kids aren't dressed warmly enough, don't have enough friends, watch too much TV and play too many computer games. We let them bike around the 'hood but won't let...read more...Can parents start over? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Can parents start over?
Looking back at parenting from Day One, I wonder: Have we done it right? With children in school and quite dependent on their parents still, there is no sitting back yet with satisfaction on a job well done. After all, don't the so-called experts say that our only role as a parent is to prepare them to successfully fly out of the nest? They certainly haven't flown anywhere yet. But after more than a...read more...The lonely child and the aching parent | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The lonely child and the aching parent
It hurts to be a parent. Get past the aching episiotomy and the C-section scar. That's nothing compared with the emotional roller-coaster on which Mom and Dad ride for a lifetime. From the moment you go through your baby's first fever, parents learn that it hurts to see a son or daughter suffer. Every little illness, every little setback, every little push by a playground bully -- it all hits us in the gut like a bad bowl of...read more...Adults behaving badly | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Adults behaving badly
As parents, nothing makes us more proud than when our kids are courteous in public. We drill them over and over again at saying "please" and "thank you" and in not interrupting adults in conversation. So when they do it, we gush. Now it's time to give another lesson. This time to the adults who don't know to treat a youngster with respect. That includes store clerks, teachers, just about...read more...Time to sleep | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Time to sleep
What's bedtime like in your home? Is it textbook calm? Is it a struggle night after night? One thing we've learned through the years: Kids are different -- and it sometimes takes customized routines to make the bedtime routine work. One barrier to bedtime: Many kids just aren't ready to drift off to sleep when we think they are. Sure they need 10 hours of sleep a night, but their bodies aren't ready to shut down when the...read more...Generation gap finds a bond | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Generation gap finds a bond
A family's separation can be painful. We miss the joy, the love, even the caretaking when relatives are far-flung across the country or the world. And no amount of digital re-creation can make up for the embrace of a loved one who lives afar. We have a new niece/cousin in the family -- on the other side of the country. She's a month old and we haven't held her yet. And we don't know when we will. The...read more...Driven to distraction | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Driven to distraction
"Don't text and drive," a sign along I-95 warns. "No phone use in the drop-off lane," the school warns. All fine and well, but technology isn't the worst diversion in the car. Meet your children. They shout from the backseat, they scream for a new diaper, they wail for food, they wave their arms and block the view of the road, they wrestle and pound each other's face. Carting around kids...read more...How to change the world | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How to change the world
I don't need to lose much weight. Or stop smoking or gambling. So the only New Year's resolutions ripe for pursuing are the ones that would make me into a better husband and father. So here goes. I resolve to ... -- Give away any stray piece of clothing left on the floor. -- Toss into the hamper any towels not put in their proper place after a shower -- without replacing them for next time. -- Set the clocks...read more...How parents can party without the kids | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How parents can party without the kids
Parents aren't exactly the life of the party. Between the wine and the rum balls, our minds can be elsewhere. We're thinking of the kids back home, of course. Are they killing each other? Did they barf on the carpet? Did they dress up the cat? Are they eating their dinner? Are they going to sleep on time? Are they dancing on the sofa in their underwear? Did they blow off the diaper? So here we are as the...read more...The holiday letter exposed | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The holiday letter exposed
It's time to open those full-page holiday letters from friends and family. Here's one right now. It's bursting with too-good-to-be-true headlines: Billy made the honor roll three straight times, Kara's volleyball team went to the playoffs and she made the winning shot, the family spent the summer in Jackson Hole, Dad shot a hole-in-one, Mom was named school volunteer of the year and was promoted to the corner office at work....read more...Your kid is ugly and rude | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Your kid is ugly and rude
Amy Alkon is tired of listening to other people's noise. And she doesn't want your kid to make a peep. Fussy baby or whiny 2-year-old? Throw 'em off the plane. Alkon's campaign against public rudeness is rooted in the guy in the coffeehouse line speaking so loudly on the cellphone that he might as well be screaming into your ear. Of course, no one likes a blabbermouth with a cellphone. Just like no one likes barking dogs,...read more...The nutty household | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The nutty household
Every home is just a little bit crazy. With the exception of a 2-year-old's public temper tantrums -- played out anywhere, anytime -- families pretty much bottle up the insanity within the confines of their four walls. It's the place where kids act out and parents yell. It's the place for moping and other moodiness. It's the place for open defiance and disrespect. It's the place for pickiness...read more...Choosing a school | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Choosing a school
Charter or magnet? Private or public? Parochial or Montessori? Neighborhood school or home-schooled? When it comes to picking a place to study, it's not just for college kids anymore. Decisions start in pre-school and can go right up through high school. So the fate of where you live and what school is down the block isn't sealed with the mandatory attendance of your children. That makes it interesting --...read more...Emergency! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Emergency!
The slip, stumble and fall came quickly. One moment, I was loping down the rain-slicked stairs from our apartment to fetch a few more grocery bags from the car. The next, I was hurtling in the air, tumbling into a thorny rosebush and bouncing onto the wet concrete below. When I found my glasses that flew from my head on impact, I noticed the blood -- my left hand and arm, covered and dripping. I picked out the piercing thorns, ...read more...Take a mental health day | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Take a mental health day
How many times have you left work early, reported to work late, or just didn't go to work at all -- because of a sick kid? Perhaps it was a throat tickle, a point of temperature, a stream of vomit. Whatever, we know where our place is: rubbing a flushed forehead or spooning in some medicine. We do what parents need to do in moments of physical illness. But what about emotional ones? What do we do about children who seem...read more...Such a chore | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Such a chore
A lazy, self-absorbed, iPod head who expects everything handed to him. Does this describe your child? What happened to the days of Laura and Mary, when children helped run a household? Wash on Monday, iron on Tuesday, mend on Wednesday, churn on Thursday ... Even a made bed would be nice on any day. Don't hold your breath. What chores do your children do at home? Pick up toys? Set the table? Clean up after a meal? Feed...read more...The paperless fridge door | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The paperless fridge door
Where are the wads of paper crushed into the bottom of the book bags? Where are the fliers for the fundraisers and field day? Why is the fridge door so bare, with hardly a reminder in sight? Here's why: Some schools are sending home fewer school notices. It's a move that saves money and paper. Not to mention some room on the refrigerator gallery for grocery lists, pictures and artwork. Instead of bombing us...read more...Sick kid? No relief at school | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Sick kid? No relief at school
If you're the parent of a baby, your diaper bag is likely stuffed with stuff. Just in case. Nose drops, first-aid cream, bandages, teething ring, wipes, baby Tylenol, snot-sucker. You just never know when your precious one will demand a dip into the cargo for a dose of soothing. Mucous explosion, sudden paper cut, gum pain. No problem. Then suddenly, your child goes off to school. And that safety net is gone....read more...A baby becomes this? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A baby becomes this?
Pray for me, for I am the father of a teen. Thirteen. The age has "teen" in it, so let the window to my new world open. And let it not slam on my fingers. During the so-called tween years -- from 8 to 12 -- we've had our share of anxiety, compulsiveness, ups and downs, misbehavior, trouble with school, temper flare-ups. But enough about me. I am resolved to take the teen years in a calmer way....read more...A deep talk with Baby | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A deep talk with Baby
A new baby is coming. I'll soon be an uncle. I'll have to practice my nose-stealing trick. Meanwhile, having done the babyhood thing a couple times myself, I have plenty of advice for the first-time parents-to-be. I won't burden them with it. With magazines and books crowding the shelves, surely my sister-in-law and brother-in-law have enough on hand to make them thoroughly confused. Instead, I'll...read more...Peace at home | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Peace at home
The buzzword of the moment is peace. The students at our school are hearing about it through assemblies, projects and assignments. Even parents are getting a piece of it at seminars. Peaceful parenting. Sounds easy. If only it were so. Our complicated kids thrive on chaos. From the screaming baby who's hungry or wet to the brooding teen who grunts and growls -- peace in the home is hard to achieve. But we're...read more...The parking headache | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The parking headache
Parenting and parking can be problematic. There's the distant space at the mall -- balanced with stroller, diaper bag and squirmy kid. Then there's valet parking. Who wants a stranger entering and driving a minivan filled with all the stuff that families cart around? Before I became a dad a dozen years ago, I couldn't understand why parents' vehicles were such a mess. One time I climbed into my boss'...read more...Is she really sick? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Is she really sick?
"Mommy, I don't feel well. Can you pick me up from school?" "Daddy, my tummy hurts, I want to go home." Do you believe your kids? How can you not be a bit skeptical when you get a call from school on the day of a big test and hear the complaint: "My throat is killing me!" When I get the call, I immediately become Nurse Dad over the phone. "Sweetheart, do you have fever? Are you...read more...Should we disconnect our kids? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Should we disconnect our kids?
A new book encourages us to make geeks of our children. Anti-tech geeks, that is. No cellphones or computers. Limited TV and video games. More books like "Little House on the Prairie." Author Marybeth Hicks , who appeared on NPR a few weeks ago to explain it all, argues that we should keep today's toxic popular culture as far away from the little ones as possible. No argument there. But like influenza,...read more...My heart is in the oven | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman My heart is in the oven
Move over, Julie. I'm about to cook my way through a milestone as well. But it won't be from a book, or in homage to a famous chef. I'm cooking my way through the school year. Breakfasts, lunches, dinners, five days a week until June. One guarantee: I won't be cracking open Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" -- or any other cookbook for that matter. I'll be making up some...read more...10 steps to surviving the first day of school | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman 10 steps to surviving the first day of school
We're determined to make the first day of school a success. That means being organized, carving a routine, keeping calm -- and sucking down some ice cream. Here is our 10-point plan: 1. Early to bed Saturday night and alarm clocks set early for Sunday morning. Yup, you read right. The girls and their parents want to make sure everyone has a day's head start to absorb the shock. 2. Clothes laid out and...read more...No more schoolbooks? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman No more schoolbooks?
Take a good look at your children's textbooks. Pick them up. Thumb through them. Put them in a bag and strap them on your back. Then start mocking them: "Very soon, you will burden us no more! Your static and stain-filled pages, your heavy binding that bends our backs, your heavy cost to buy or replace -- muwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! -- all gone soon!" Yes, it's true. Talk and planning have begun for the world of...read more...Clunkers for parents | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Clunkers for parents
The rules for what determines a "clunker" to get a break on a new, more efficient car are a bit hard to understand. So the government has turned to a panel of parents to judge "cash for clunkers" eligibility. According to the revised rules, your car is a clunker if ... -- A kid's projectile vomiting has soaked and stained 35 percent of the upholstery and settled into the sideboard crevices. -- The windshield has been...read more...When our kids all look the same | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman When our kids all look the same
Parents are about to conduct an annual rite: buying new clothes for school. For the majority of us in South Florida, it won't be at a store. Over the past decade, most schools have required students to dress in a uniform -- typically a polo shirt and either plaid, khaki or blue pants or skirt. The experts tell us that these uniforms take the focus off individual fashion statements, improve academic performance and...read more...The rage of sibling rivalry | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The rage of sibling rivalry
Are you jealous of your siblings? Better grades? Nicer clothes? More success? Bigger bank account? The world of sibling rivalry can cool, simmer or boil depending on the family dynamic. For my better half, in uncommon harmony with her four siblings, not a hint of rivalry. For me, an only child, a foreign concept. For our two tween daughters, the jury is out. But it sure will be put to a test the next...read more...School is in the air | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman School is in the air
The school countdown has begun -- and already there's tension in the air. That would be coming from me, the dad, not necessarily the kids, who are still merrily enjoying their freedom. A little more than a month from now, our routine will radically shift once again. New teachers to get to know. More homework to oversee. Elaborate field trips that cost a bundle. The frenetic daily pace of life to corral. But first ......read more...A summer makeover | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A summer makeover
Are we too uptight about summer? Must find a camp. Must take a trip. Must keep busy, organized, structured. Camp at 9. Pickup at 4. School reading list at 7. Bedtime at 10. Wake up at 7:30. Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat. What happened to the hazy, lazy days? A summer of running through sprinklers? Of playing board games? Of swimming, napping, staying up late, and waking up late, too? At a time when we have a chance to...read more...Hold the sauce, extra cheese | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Hold the sauce, extra cheese
A meal in our home can be a complicated affair. Meat-eating kids. Semi-vegetarian parents. No tomato sauce on the pasta for one kid. No peppers for Mom. Lots of snacks for the girls before and after. A main course with veggie and starch sides for one of the adults. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. We try to keep it simple. Back when I was a boy (heh, heh ... always like to write that), Mom prepared dinner and...read more...Read all about it! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Read all about it!
Read to your kids, we're told. So we do. But should we read to them when they can read for themselves? Older tween is 12. Younger tween just turned 10. And yes, we still read to them. We have found that reading time is bonding time. So this summer, we are reading the summer school list together. Perhaps I should keep this from the teachers. They might not be pleased. Educators want kids to read by themselves and for...read more...Out of sync with school | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Out of sync with school
The school bell rings too early. Kids just aren't ready to learn at 7:30 or 8:30. Their minds aren't ready. Their bodies aren't ready. They struggle to get up early because they got to sleep late, not ready to shut down at "bedtime" the night before. So, school leaders, listen up: It's time to change the bell. Start school at least two hours later each day. The children we entrust to you...read more...On the parent shift | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman On the parent shift
"Honey, I'm home!" Cue to the couple embracing at the door, then to the two kids running to hug Father. Then everyone happily skips to a family dinner, TV, homework, storytime, before they climb merrily into bed. Now cue to reality. Unless Mom and Dad work at a bank, the days of arriving home at 5 sharp are pretty much over. If you're fortunate enough to still be employed, these are the times of the...read more...Two mall rats and a lamb | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Two mall rats and a lamb
My mission is to take tween daughter and tween friend for an afternoon on the town. It's raining. Good day for a museum. Or maybe a movie. We're not going to a museum or a movie. We're going to the mall. Of course. Good thing I took a book and wore comfortable shoes. So how does a 40-something dad who shudders at mall crowds handle this assignment? Should I shop with them? Stay back 15 feet? Bring...read more...The exhausted parent | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The exhausted parent
You may have heard of the book called "The Explosive Child." We're writing our own version, living it actually, called "The Explosive Parent." Chapter 1: Scream at the children. Chapter 2: Tell them to fix their own damn dinner or find their own ride to school. Chapter 3: Fall asleep with the sink full of dirty dishes and no clean clothes for tomorrow. Chapter 4: Blame everything on the...read more...Inside your child's head | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Inside your child's head
Your boy or girl screams, hits, threatens, throws another tantrum. Just another day in the neighborhood? Perhaps. Children explode for all sorts of reasons. It starts from the first moments out of the womb. Hunger, temperature, diaper. It continues through those terrible 2's and perhaps with the arrival of a sibling. It'll get better, we're told. What if it doesn't? Diagnosing a physical ailment is...read more...A guide to the summer sampler | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A guide to the summer sampler
What are your kids doing this summer? A. Camp B. Internship/job C. Relatives D. Family trip E. All of the above We pick E. We like variety. Plus, weeks and weeks of camp can get expensive. A few days with Grandma is not. So we're having another a la carte summer during which the kids will go to a few different camp programs mixed up with the other stuff above. Call it a season of sampling. During my boyhood South Florida...read more...Such a bad mom? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Such a bad mom?
Now that Mother's Day has come, it's time for moms and dads to ponder THE question: Am I a good parent? Don't answer yet. Just because you love your kids and get them into the great school and buy them the latest stuff and help them with their homework and they love you for all of it ... well, that doesn't mean you're a good parent. Just because you let your kids get away with something while you nap or you...read more...Can't buy me fun | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Can't buy me fun
Let's buy some family fun. OK, gang, get in the car and here we go. First stop: Rave and Muster's arcade. Plenty of flashing lights and money-sucking machines. Ohhh, look at all those prize tickets you got from whacking the mole! Too bad you have only enough for the mini rubber spider made in a Sri Lanka sweatshop. Here we go again, on our way to the water park. But let's pause a moment until you finish poking one...read more...The battle against car fights | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The battle against car fights
A mother gets so fed up with the squabbling siblings that she throws them out of the car and drives on, leaving them alone on the street. Just another case of kids driving parents insane. Been there. We can all take issue with Mom's response here. The police certainly did as they arrested her. But we also need to understand that children can drive parents to the brink. It's up to us not to jump, like this...read more...Why parents go insane | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Why parents go insane
- It's time to leave and the kids are ... still in bed. - No towels left in the linen closet, but five, one for every day, under the bed. - Only thing eaten in the lunch bag: the cookies. - Radio Disney in the car. - Assurances of no homework. Right. - "Daddy, can we buy this, please?" - Unmade beds, unwashed dishes, piles of dirty laundry. - "I'm going back to sleep! You woke me up!"...read more...Managing the new f-word | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Managing the new f-word
Except for the no-pay thing, a furlough from work might actually be good for the family. Seven straight days with no workplace contact, no calls, no e-mails. Not even water-cooler chat. Can the American worker give it all up without withdrawal symptoms? As we all know, our 24/7 society overpowers vacation time. It's why workers take their cellphones to the beach and their laptops to Disney World. But a furlough has rules....read more...The model child | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The model child
The pouty lips. The windblown hair. The bizarre backdrops of South Florida. The focused photographer snapping away. This wasn't just another South Beach model shoot. Here I am on location in Hollywood (Florida, that is) with my two tween daughters and a professional photographer. Mom is on hand, too, as the props and wardrobe manager. The goal: to take pictures for an agent who identifies modeling opportunities for kids....read more...Hard issues in baseball | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Hard issues in baseball
It's almost baseball season. Soon time for that great American pastime: turning down the volume on the Levitra commercials. In between innings, odds are an ad will come on for erectile dysfunction. The commercials are usually quite tasteful: Man sitting and reading his newspaper by the pool, suddenly interrupted by an in-the-mood woman. He then springs up and follows her to the bedroom. As the smooching begins, an announcer...read more...You are so punished | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman You are so punished
Discipline has to be the most vexing part of parenthood. We've read the books, taken the advice and tried it all out. But why won't our children listen to us? How many times does a mom or dad have to tell a kid to stop bopping a sibling on the head before it sticks? The threat of punishment only goes so far. Kids must process threats the same way Charlie Brown hears his teacher: wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. But when we carry...read more...The neurotic parent | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The neurotic parent
When we were pregnant with Baby One, I immediately became overwhelmed at all the stuff to read about kids and parenting. Books and magazines piled up on the bedside table and spilled onto the floor. By the time Baby Two was in the oven, more books and magazines cluttered the room and my brain. I can only feel sorry for today's new parent. There is so much information out there, they probably don't know where to begin and...read more...When kids make too much noise | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman When kids make too much noise
Parents get used to the noise. Stomping feet, squeals of delight, shrieks from a sibling fight. It's all part of the soundtrack of family life. Take that noise and throw it over the house wall and it's now a nuisance. We've all heard of Grandma's expression: "Children should be seen and not heard." Pshaw. Modern parents shouldn't follow that Victorian advice. Kids add spice and joy to the dour adult...read more..."Leave me the hell alone!" | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman "Leave me the hell alone!"
A child's biggest sport isn't soccer. It's locking Mom and Dad out of his life. Through their laser focus on TV shows, closed-door playdates, seclusion with the computer and block-out-the-rest-of-the-world music-listening, kids can easily negate parents. It starts happening when a kid is 8 or so. Sure, she still wants us and needs us. Just not all the time. So don't be insulted or shocked when you...read more...Filthy thoughts | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Filthy thoughts
What is this goo? It's between the sofa cushions. It's stuck to the wall. It's inside the car armrests, hardened from the heat. Whatever it is, the kids left the nauseating trail. Why don't they clean up after themselves? The cats leave legless roaches as a gift to their humans. The girls leave half-eaten food as a hex on their parents. Surely, gentle Moms and Dads, you know all about the proverbial pizza box...read more...What do we feed these kids? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman What do we feed these kids?
When she was 3, my younger daughter loved watching the food mavens of TV at the time: Rachael Ray and Sara Moulton . While other kids were glued to Sesame Street, this one followed along to the secrets of a 30-minute meal or how to bake muffins. Six years later, and food is still at the forefront. Except now it's all about what she won't eat and not at all about creativity in the kitchen. It's true that parents...read more...Homework hell | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Homework hell
Maybe parents should go on a hunger strike protesting homework. Seems like that's the next logical step in the saga of the starving moms attacking budget cuts in the schools. Not all homework is bad news, of course. Students should have to review work for a test or do some home reading. But most of it can be done in a school study period during which kids could complete their work while their teachers work on lesson plans...read more...How to make love to a BlackBerry | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How to make love to a BlackBerry
No wonder the president is holding on tight to his BlackBerry. It's tough to let go of a device that connects us -- not only to work and far-flung friends but also to our spouse and kids. Sure we carry around the e-mail-Internet-phone thingy for work. It helps us keep on top of our jobs, keeps us in touch with staff, makes us more prepared as we head to the office. Boss, you want to reach me when I'm not at my desk? Here I...read more...My Facebook status: Hopeless! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman My Facebook status: Hopeless!
Take a look at the status updates from your Facebook friends. Surely most of them can't be parents battling the daily battles. If parents were being honest, we'd see less of the "I am having such a glorious day!" -- and more of this: "Dad is pleased to report that doctors were successful in dislodging the french fry from his 2-year-old's nose." That was an actual Facebook status from the...read more...Are cities or suburbs better? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Are cities or suburbs better?
What's a better environment for a child? The big, seamy city or the scrub-a-dub suburbs? The answer isn't as easy as it sounds. Each environment has pros and cons when it comes to raising a family. Crime, schools, things to do. All play a part in the decision -- and suburbs don't necessarily come out ahead in these categories, if that's what you're thinking. At the same time, the city can be a too-grown-up...read more...Why smart kids may need a tutor | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Why smart kids may need a tutor
When does your child need a tutor? A. When you see her struggling to understand her work B. When homework is piling up and left undone C. When good study habits are nonexistent D. When your A student is suddenly bringing home C's and D's E. When you as a parent can't help F. All of the above It's all of the above. And more. So why are parents like me hesitant to get their children help? For one, cost. Hiring a...read more...Shooting up Botox | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Shooting up Botox
A few years ago, I won a raffle at my kids' school. Prize: a free shot of Botox at the local dermatology place. Not so long before, my mom slipped me a piece of paper with the name of a hair restoration drug. And several times a week, my two lovely daughters rub my small balding spot and remind me it is growing bigger by the second. Is this any way to treat an aging baby boomer? Despite the reminders, people...read more...Dad is on Facebook?! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Dad is on Facebook?!
When the Walkman was all the rage, my parents didn't have one. On my father's bedside table sat a 1950s clock-radio with tubular intestines that took five minutes to warm up. In the dining room: a stereo with turntable and eight-track player. Technology wasn't the big thing that it is today because technology wasn't so hot in the 1970s. While the kids had their Walkmans, my parents held onto their tubes and tape....read more...A Wiggle is missing | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A Wiggle is missing
I've been thinking a lot about the Wiggles lately. The Australian mega-group recently went through a transplant: Greg, the lanky Yellow Wiggle, retired with some blood pressure woes. In his place: the less memorable, shorter Sam, a longtime understudy. Am I the only person who has trouble getting used to replacement parts? A few years ago, the longtime voice of Barney the Purple Dinosaur began sounding different. And no...read more...Hey, parents: Let's party! | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Hey, parents: Let's party!
It's time again for holiday parties. Time to go with hubby to his boss' bash. Time to go to the school party. Time to go to the workplace buffet. Besides the cheeseballs, the only thing required at these get-togethers is conversation. But when you're a parent, conversation can be a problem. Beyond Sesame Street, the safest carseats and the toilet habits of our progeny, we can be pretty limited in our scope. This all...read more...How to survive holiday travel | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How to survive holiday travel
Holiday travel with kids -- just those four words can make a parent shudder. Airport lines. Packed planes. Impatient, bored, combative little darlings. It could be a lethal mix. So here is some advice on how to survive the December-January airplane experience based on what our family learned during Thanksgiving: 1. Pack a carry-on bag with food: energy bars, nuts, cookies, chips, sandwiches. Kids can get testy when they're...read more...The curse of the potty mouths | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The curse of the potty mouths
Taking your kids out to a public place can be a curse. A curse as in ... "Mother f------" and "b----" and other verbal delights spewed all over the place by people. And here I blushed the other day when one of the girls used that other, milder "f" for flatulence. The civility of public discourse sometimes isn't great, but it doesn't seem to be in any more of a crisis than it ever was. ...read more...Move over, Hannah Montana | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Move over, Hannah Montana
We've discovered classical music. Before you fall over at that news, consider that a daughter now foregoes all the songs on her iPod and falls asleep each night to the soothing sounds of Beethoven, Brahms and all those other dudes whose names I can't pronounce. And both daughters request classical on their ride to school in the morning. Are they feeling OK? Until now, the only Beethoven these tweens heard was the...read more...Meet the stupidest mom | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Meet the stupidest mom
A mom brought her 2-year-old to the park and took him to a small pavilion. Someone from afar called out her name. So she put her kid down on the picnic table, and walked toward the voice. What do you think happened next? The kid, of course, started wobbling to the other end of the picnic table like the Energizer bunny and would have toppled over to the ground if not for my...read more...Cheering on our children | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Cheering on our children
My parents never missed a game. I was in the marching band and they were groupies. They survived locusts in Homestead, the flood and mud at Tamiami, loss after loss on the field (by the football team and the band, both of which got blown out by other schools). And still, they came. Game after game. Concert after concert. They came because they were proud. Certainly they had...read more...Feeding 4 for 6 bucks | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Feeding 4 for 6 bucks
We got takeout the other day. Some chicken, some salad, some sandwiches, some rice and beans. The bill: 47 bucks. Almost fainted. Time to cleanse the palate and start fresh. Like everyone else, we're tightening the screws on the household budget. Between desks for the kids' rooms, a new window to replace a cracked one, a new floor to replace the gross carpet, and the general costs of supporting kids and extended family ......read more...How to pick an after-school activity | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How to pick an after-school activity
There's more to school life than the three R's. The hard part: picking and sticking with an extracurricular activity. The best approach is like grazing at the buffet table. Much like you would sample small portions from those silver serving pans then return for more of what you like -- that's how we should help our children get a handle on their platter of choices. Soccer or softball?...read more...Panic over anxiety | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Panic over anxiety
I dutifully climbed into my father's powder blue Torino for the 20-minute ride to school. Books hugged tight. Lunch money jingling in my pocket. I looked ready. Boy, do looks deceive. Inside, a boa-like squeeze on my stomach sent waves of nausea through my gut and bitter acid into my throat. My limbs hung heavy, my heart pounded. As we made the final turn and the puke-green school building came into sight, I drew a deep...read more...Will they ever behave? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Will they ever behave?
An open letter to children everywhere: Dear sons and daughters, All we want is harmony in the home. Nothing more, nothing less. With this domestic peace comes calm and respect. Without it, chaos and aggravation. Why, dear children, do you burn a hole in our gut with your defiance, your sibling shenanigans and your stubbornness? You scream, you scratch, you punch, you goad, you insult. It's enough to...read more...Children who give | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Children who give
While we try to make sure our children are learning their schoolwork, a greater lesson is going on in the home: Giving. Next week, our family will present a check to Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital . The money comes from our daughter's fundraising projects, selling homemade bracelets and asking for contributions in celebration of her bat mitzvah . Yes, we had plenty of fun at the big party. Our family rented a...read more...The sexes keep score | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The sexes keep score
Does everything have to be 50-50 when it comes to running a household? Should both partners count it all up at the end of the week to make sure the hours worked to make the meals, do the laundry, shuttle the kids all add up evenly? You may answer yes, but let's get real. Running a family is not like slicing identical pieces of a pie. I know where all this counting comes from. Women, as they should, look at the sloth on the...read more...A girl and her breasts | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman A girl and her breasts
It just hit me: My daughter has breasts. She nonchalantly took me to the underwear department at Target the other day, asked my opinion about a bra to add to her small supply, and plopped it into the cart. This shouldn't be a shock. She is, after all, about to turn 12. Her bat mitzvah party is next weekend when she becomes "a woman." But Dad apparently has delayed noticing his developing daughter as long as possible. I still...read more...Is cursive writing dead? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Is cursive writing dead?
Do students need to learn cursive writing in school? Should teachers require it on assignments? These are tough questions -- and we'll find the answers sooner or later. Matter of fact, we already are beginning to get some clues: -- Students are typing more. They use computers for their written assignments and reports. -- With the emphasis on FCATs and state curriculum standards, time in the...read more...Will work for school | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Will work for school
If you're not already volunteering at your child's school, drop everything and do it. Of course you're overworked at the office. Of course you're overwhelmed at home with a younger child. And of course you have your own hobbies. But try to find time to get into school and get to work. If your child attends a charter school, odds are that parental volunteerism -- insert oxymoron joke here ...read more...Nuts to no nuts | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Nuts to no nuts
Banning nuts from schools is nutty. Before you brand me an insensitive clod to kids who suffer from life-threatening allergies, think about this: There is no way a school can be totally nut-free, regardless of policy, regardless of good intention. How can a school scan for all those stealth nutty ingredients in cookies, crackers, cupcakes and other snacks in every lunch box and at every class party? How can a...read more...The toxic middle school | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The toxic middle school
Marauding waves of hooligans are on the prowl, looking to knock over the new kids, steal their lunch money, scare them out of their gym clothes. Back in elementary school, those were the rumors about the middle school experience. Turns out the rumors weren't far from the truth. During the first week, a swaggering bully with bark and bite let loose with foul-mouthed threats of violence, and then smashed a new student across...read more...Nothing but a sh--storm | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Nothing but a sh--storm
The toilet broke -- but someone still used it. The community gardeners overspread the fertilizer. A county sewage truck crew dug up something ripe. The cat plopped a load right onto the floor. An upset stomach took its toll on a pair of panties. Just because we're long out of diapers in this household, doesn't mean life can't get shitty. Just like the second day of school. The honeymoon is...read more...Dear Teacher ... | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Dear Teacher ...
Our children's teachers deserve to know a little about their new students before the first day of school. So now that you have written your thank-you notes to last year's teachers, sit down for a few minutes and write a "Get to Know Jordan" letter to this year's teachers. E-mail has done wonders for getting -- and keeping -- in touch with teachers. A note as school starts shows that parents care about...read more...Back to school for parents | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Back to school for parents
I have faith and confidence in my children that they'll be good people and find success in life. I'm here to help get them there. I'm not here to carry them on my back. That's not enough for some parents. Right now, they're pre-figuring what classes and what grades their kids need to shoot for to get into one of them fancy colleges or mega state schools. They're plotting to land the "best"...read more...Splitting up to stay together | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Splitting up to stay together
Am I a good parent? Maybe so, just by asking this. But sometimes I just don't feel like one. Nearly 12 years after I entered the parenting world, I am learning along with my kids. So many advice books. So many theories. So many fellow parents. All spewing advice. But life is real. It's fast. No time to look up Page 188 of the manual to resolve a family crisis. So should I have responded to the latest misbehavior as I...read more...Do kids make you bald and gray? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Do kids make you bald and gray?
Do children keep you young or make you old? I was thinking about this yesterday as I glanced to the next table at the ice cream parlor. There sat a dad sucking down a milkshake. He was balding, with enough bare skin on top to place one of those rubber jar openers. Dads are balding and moms are graying. What do we make of this? Genetics? Or the pressures of parenthood? A few years ago, at a school fundraiser, I won the...read more...F---ed in Key West | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman F---ed in Key West
The f-word was there for all to see. And a few variations of the b-word. Then, suddenly, out popped a middle-age man from a bar, bulging out of Superman briefs and nothing else. On the other side, a passenger rolled down his car window and gestured for a street-walking woman to climb aboard. For two kids sheltered in the world of American Girl and Disney, this must have seemed otherworldly....read more...The Blunderful World of Disney | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman The Blunderful World of Disney
You WILL have fun! Do you hear me?! I don't care if it's 94 degrees and your face is red and clammy. I don't care if you've waited in line for an hour for two minutes of fake fun. This is Disney World, dammit, and I, as your parent, order you to have have a good time, young lady! This is what every hot, bothered, impatient parent seems to be thinking as they look at their hot, bothered, impatient kids in the...read more...When a family needs more room | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman When a family needs more room
We're taking action to make more room for our crunched household. A few weeks ago, we took a look at a nearby home that would give us double the number of bedrooms we now have -- from two to four. But the economy is scaring us back into our turtle shell. Sure, home prices have come down. But when companies are cutting back employees, gas is 4 bucks a gallon, food is going up, etc., etc. ... well. So here we are -- once...read more...Lessons in fatherhood | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Lessons in fatherhood
Happy Father's Day to me. When I became a dad more than 11 years ago, I found a new calling. Yes, I had identified myself as a husband. And yes, I had identified myself by my career. But I really didn't feel like I had an identity. On Oct. 9, 1996, and again on June 29, 1999 -- the birth dates of my two daughters -- my identity was born. Just call me Dad. I had a new title and a new...read more...How I failed kindergarten | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman How I failed kindergarten
I was a kindergarten teacher for a couple of hours -- and when it was over, the rest of the day seemed so easy. I attempted to read to the 20 students and managed to get through half a book before they lost interest. First came yawns and then they found new energy and popped from their seats. I went around the room checking on each table as students worked in their math and vocabulary books. I had trouble helping them with...read more...Staying safe in a strange world | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Staying safe in a strange world
When I was a young boy (I always wanted to write that), my world was on a key ring. At the end of the school day, I trudged out to the public bus stop in front of my school and waited for Route K for the 15-minute ride home. Mr. Cook was the bus driver. He whistled and made meow sounds like a ventriloquist. A bag lady rode shotgun. She laughed at all the sound effects, leaned over to me and said through her one top tooth,...read more...Practical parenting 101 | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Practical parenting 101
A new class in Texas high schools looks at the legal side of parenting. Always did want to learn what an "alleged father" is. But what we really need in a class for parents (and their kids) is more useful instruction. Here is a proposed syllabus: A. How to clean vomit from the rug of the new minivan. B. What to cook for dinner when the fridge contains a wedge of moldy cheese, a cluster of wilted romaine and a...read more...Trading places with our kids | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Trading places with our kids
As our children find their own tastes, they're fascinated with ours. They listen to our music and eat our food. What's amazing is they like it. They really like it. Should we be surprised that our kids want to listen to doo-wop, the Doors and Elton John? Or snack on sardines or deviled eggs? No more surprised than us listening to Sinatra or Lawrence Welk with our parents. While our kids seem to like this old stuff -- at...read more...Kindergarten to 6th in 1 step | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Kindergarten to 6th in 1 step
It's true what they tell you: Enjoy your children because they grow up fast. Not so long ago, tears streamed down my cheeks at pre-school graduation. A few months later, I tearily waved goodbye as the kindergarten teacher took her new charges away from their parents and marched them to class on the first day. Then, kindergarten graduation and some more parental tears, Now, just like that, here we are...read more...Homework should be illegal | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Homework should be illegal
Homework stinks. It stinks because a chunk of it is busywork. It stinks because the best projects have parental flourishes all over them. It stinks because it makes reading a chore instead of a pleasure. It stinks because our sons and daughters weep in frustration about too much...read more...Do dads do their fair share? | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Do dads do their fair share?
Whatever I do, I feel it's not enough. Yes, I make breakfast and lunch (for the two princesses and Mom). Yes, I clean up the dishes. Yes, I do much of the grocery shopping. Yes, I cook dinners on my days off (I am a night-shift worker and not at home most evenings). Yes, I clean the kitty litter box. Yes, I read to the kids. But it just doesn't seem enough. I watch Mom juggle her full-time job, the kids'...read more...Spaced out: Kids, cats, clutter | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Spaced out: Kids, cats, clutter
We're trapped. It would be nice to have some more room. But the South Florida real estate boom, property taxes and the mortgage crisis have all conspired to keep our family of four in a two-bedroom garden apartment barely over 1,000 square feet. Every few years or so, we look over the listings, let a real estate broker show us some roomier abodes ... and we think. After crunching the numbers, we...read more...Shifting rules of the home | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Shifting rules of the home
One of the most important rules of shift parenthood is pretty simple: Trust your partner. Because both Mom and Dad are rarely home together at the same time with the kids, decisions have to be made solo. A purchase. A note to the teacher. A punishment. A new ballet class. If the decision is major, Mom and Dad try to consult. But it's not easy talking to a spouse hard at work, unable to focus on family life or even come to...read more...Meaty issue: How to veg out | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Meaty issue: How to veg out
Raising a meat-loving child in a mostly vegetarian home isn't easy. Mom and Dad never deprive the princesses of what they want to eat. But we usually don't fill our fridge with beef or chicken either. At a time when more young people are saying "no'' to meat -- some stats say that 10 percent of teen girls are vegetarians or vegans -- our tween princess feels better with a belly full of beef. So we encourage her to have meat...read more...Fighting for your kids | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Fighting for your kids
How far should parents go in defense of their kids? "I went aboard the bus," a fellow dad told me as we were gathered at the school bus stop the next morning. "She was hit in the eye yesterday." The dad went aboard to confront the pint-size suspect who had slugged his daughter. It didn't go so well for Dad. "Why did you hit her?" the father asked the boy at his seat. The boy's...read more...Freebie Day with the girls | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Freebie Day with the girls
A holiday off from school can be a drone of a day in front of the TV and computer. Dad wanted better for the two princesses. Lunch out. An afternoon at the indoor game center. Maybe a movie. Ice cream after. Then reality hit: thin-wallet syndrome. So we ventured out for a Freebie Day. The key to a Freebie Day is to find a ton of fun without spending a cent. Is this even possible? Try it and you'll see. Scan the neighborhood...read more...Daddy is on duty | Moms Miami //MomsMiami.com Member: jeffkleinman Daddy is on duty
Dad wakes up the princesses, makes the lunches, lugs the backpacks to the bus stop, gets everyone on board (or takes them to school if they're running late), waves goodbye, cleans up from breakfast, heads to the grocery store, volunteers in the school literacy lab, stays on call if anyone is sick. Then he gets ready for work. In the world of shift parenting, I'm on kid duty during the day and I work at my professional job...read more...
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