aimeeheller - Profile | Pictures | Blog - Baby Makes 2
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User: aimeeheller
From: Miami Beach, FL
Joined: Mar 4 2008 - 12:11:26 PM
Last Visit: Nov 16 2009 - 08:22:37 PM
Website: http://www.handturkey.com
I am a: Work-at-home parent
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AimeeHeller 1 photos
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BIRTHDAY PARTY DOS AND DON’TS | Moms Miami BIRTHDAY PARTY DOS AND DON’TS
This past weekend I threw a birthday party for my 3 year old. And did I learn a lot... Do not procrastinate sending out the invites because you could not find the right ink color to use on them. You will end up making a lot of calls. And people will not believe you when you tell them they really were on the “A” list. Do employ a bouncer at your venue....read more...Posted on: Nov 10 2009 - 06:30:00 AMSex, Drugs and Facebook. | Moms Miami Sex, Drugs and Facebook.
Mom there’s a danger lurking on the Internet, waiting to corrupt young, underdeveloped minds. It’s called Facebook. And it’s the ultimate enabler. Facebook is uncharted territory for the unwary. Kids can put it all out there and be instantly famous without doing anything more than, well, putting it out there. We must teach them not to put everything out there. ...read more...Posted on: Nov 2 2009 - 06:25:00 PMThe Name Game | Moms Miami The Name Game
The hardest part about giving birth to a child is not the pain, the breathing, learning to push or getting along with your hands-on dolphin-loving doula. The hardest part about having a baby is coming up with his or her name. I can’t even understand those parents that wait until birth to find out what their child’s sex will be. I needed to know right away. So then I could...read more...Posted on: Oct 27 2009 - 06:40:00 AMAn Apology Letter to My Cat | Moms Miami An Apology Letter to My Cat
Dear Noble Cat Licking Glitter from Your Paws, Only a few years ago things would have been much different. It would be you who would be sitting on my warm lap while we watched Dora the Explorer. Of course, Dora would be Law & Order, but you would be the one on my lap. You’d be the one getting your ears scratched and fur petted by me. So thank you even more for not scratching my daughter when she...read more...Posted on: Oct 20 2009 - 05:25:00 AMWhat's Your Toddlers Cultural IQ? | Moms Miami What's Your Toddlers Cultural IQ?
Few places in life make me feel older than the college campus where I work. I walk from the University of Miami parking lot, to the school, and from the school to the food court, library, or around the lake. On my way, I pass many of the students, and their age is the half way point between me and my daughter, almost exactly. Battling the cellulite of my old age but not yet the hearing loss, I capture...read more...Posted on: Oct 14 2009 - 06:40:00 AMMy Rival is a Duck | Moms Miami My Rival is a Duck
Mommy is Jealous of a Duck. No , mommy I don’t want you, I want duckie, Penelope will say. Mommy where’s duckie? I don’t want to go with you, I want to go with Duckie. No, mommy you can’t sit there, Duck is sitting there. Do you want mommy to hug you?, I say. No, she says, I have duckie. My daughter carries a blanket with a...read more...Posted on: Oct 5 2009 - 06:30:00 AMI'm paying around $9000 a year for this | Moms Miami I'm paying around $9000 a year for this
Let’s see, what did my almost three year old learn at school this week. Well, she learned the word Ca-ca and now delights in saying it over and over. I think she must have seen me cringe when she said it originally. She has learned that there is paint that you are supposed to use your fingers with. Now how to teach her that that doesn’t apply to all paints, and the wall is not paper. My...read more...Posted on: Sep 23 2009 - 06:20:00 AMAny He will be Number Three | Moms Miami Any He will be Number Three
To any man that chooses to date me: my daughter comes first. I come second most of the time except if you’re sick, and I don’t mean with a sniffle. (Try to be a “man” first, before you attempt the child thing.) You come third. It’s not a bad place to be. You just need to know that children come first. That’s the way its...read more...Posted on: Sep 15 2009 - 06:20:00 AMMy Daughter, My High End Porsche Cayenne | Moms Miami My Daughter, My High End Porsche Cayenne
I’m ready for my daughter to hit her teenage years. When she comes at me whipping out that oldie but goodie, “You didn’t really want me”, I’m going to open up my old financial drawer and counter her attack with my receipts. Look, Penelope (or Peppi, Lopi, Penny, Goddess Minerva, or whatever she is calling herself by this time), I’ll say, look how much you were wanted. ...read more...Posted on: Sep 8 2009 - 06:20:00 AMSchool Daze, School Daze. First daze! | Moms Miami School Daze, School Daze. First daze!
Today was Penelope’s first day at school. She cried. She didn’t want to leave at the end of the day she was having so much fun. Score! For us single working moms. Yes, we can raise happy, independent kids. Penelope’s already talking about the friends she made, friends she hopefully won’t be smoking with in the parking lot when she’s 14, but that’s...read more...Posted on: Sep 1 2009 - 06:20:00 AMNew Everything, including guilt and lunch bags | Moms Miami New Everything, including guilt and lunch bags
This is going to be a short blog as I am in the middle of two huge transitions. One, my little girl is starting school and I am making myself crazy worrying about everything from getting those important immunization records to what kind of lunch bag should she bring (thermal?). I am also starting a new job on Monday, one i'm excited about, and there's a lot to prepare for that. I also do SAT/PSAT...read more...Posted on: Aug 26 2009 - 01:25:00 AMMy Princess Wants to be a Stepmother | Moms Miami My Princess Wants to be a Stepmother
My daughter is so much a princess that she doesn’t want to be Cinderella. Whenever I read her the story, what sticks with her is that the stepmother would not let Cinderella go to the ball. “Stay home and clean”, the stepmother said. My daughter wants to be the one giving the orders. She doesn’t yet get that the dancing a marrying a prince part is the one that’s...read more...Posted on: Aug 17 2009 - 01:40:00 AMLoving Kids Unequally or Take My Cat, Please | Moms Miami Loving Kids Unequally or Take My Cat, Please
I am afraid I couldn’t do it. I’ve learned that from my two cats. Granted you will never hear the words” fur babies” uttered from my lips. I just can’t seem to love one of my two cats. In her defense, she is the sweetest cat ever. She craves laps and will knead your legs until they’re as soft as dough. All she wants to do is nibble your...read more...Posted on: Aug 10 2009 - 01:40:00 PMA Important Blog for Parents with Car Seats | Moms Miami A Important Blog for Parents with Car Seats
People like me should not be allowed to install a car seat. Two hours, nine cans of Diet Coke, and four Alleve later, the car seat was still wobbly. The instruction book clearly said that it would not be able to move one inch from base if it was in there right. Well, I followed the directions and, I, who can put together an IKEA desk without the instructions, couldn't get it the movement down to less...read more...Posted on: Jul 27 2009 - 11:00:00 PMA Wheel Problem | Moms Miami A Wheel Problem
My first new car. Is it mean that I won’t let my daughter eat or drink anything while she’s riding in it? She can’t eat or drink 4-6 hours before riding in it either. If something going to make her upchuck, I want to know before we ride. I’ll make an exception for Cheerios sans milk and goldfish crackers. I’ve got half a mind to put her back in diapers too. ...read more...Posted on: Jul 20 2009 - 06:25:00 AMIt’s Me Time!!!! | Moms Miami It’s Me Time!!!!
Yep. It’s that time. Around 10 pm. Finally. It’s me time. Me, me, ME time! I’m exhausted and wedging toothpicks between my eyelids to keep them open, but its Me Time! Time to write! Time to catch up with people on Facebook! Time to figure out why my finances don’t balance and time to clear out a drawer! Time to draw and paint and read....read more...Posted on: Jul 7 2009 - 06:20:00 AMGiving my Daughter a Baby | Moms Miami Giving my Daughter a Baby
I think about having a second child in the same way as I think about getting a dog for my daughter. Or a new Snap n’ Style doll for her. Something she might like to play with. Lucky for me I do see the erroneous thinking in this. Unlike the doll, another baby is not meant to be played with. Nor is it returnable or able to be given to the Good Will. It’s just I can’t help thinking....read more...Posted on: Jul 1 2009 - 06:30:00 AMDiapers vs. potty germs | Moms Miami Diapers vs. potty germs
I’ve thought about it. It’s my fault Penelope isn’t potty trained. It’s not that I want my cute widdle baby waby to stay a baby longer. I don’t want to take her to public bathrooms. They’re gross and germy. Have you ever tried to explain germs to a 2 year old? I told her they were little invisible bugs that can make you sick. Now she looks even closer...read more...Posted on: Jun 23 2009 - 06:35:00 AMChina Scares Me | Moms Miami China Scares Me
I’m not xenophobic by any means, I studied Japanese, I lived the cosmopolitan life, both cities and drinks, but I am terrified of China. Not the people or the economics or threat to any Olympic medal count. I’m worried about the toys. I didn’t even realize how worried I was until I gave Penelope some bubbles made in China. I had bought them at some no-name store simply...read more...Posted on: Jun 15 2009 - 06:30:00 AMRain Mom | Moms Miami Rain Mom
Sorry I’m a little behind on my blog. As anyone with ears, eyes, and a toddler knows, it’s been raining here in Miami and raining hard, practically EVERY night. That means every night, rather than writing, I’ve been up comforting my 2 year old. Assuring her that the thunder isn’t going to get her. And rain is only water, the same rain that comes down during the day. No, the...read more...Give Thanks, Get Rewards | Moms Miami Give Thanks, Get Rewards
I’m on a new health kick. It’s good for the brain, the heart, and better than Atkins, it’s even good for others. You don’t have to join or buy anything. You don’t even have to get weighed on national TV. Know what it is? Here’s what it not. It’s not flax oil, organic chicken, kava kava, or even red wine, though if you know where you can get those...read more...Posted on: Jun 1 2009 - 06:15:00 AMI'd kill for my daughter. And I have. | Moms Miami I'd kill for my daughter. And I have.
I'd kill for friends too. And anyone who will pay me $80 an hour for my single minded concentration and skill. Sociologists say women are the gathers and men the hunters. Come study my household, sociologists. I'm way ahead of the evolutional curve. I gather the laundry strewn about AND I kill, kill, kill. I use not deer rifle, bow, nor slingshot. I'm a mom first...read more...Posted on: May 25 2009 - 06:25:00 AMValuable Life Lessons from a Two year Old | Moms Miami Valuable Life Lessons from a Two year Old
In life, the learning never stops and what i'm finding is to move forward, the best place to look may be back. :) Let It Out, Then Get Over It If you’re frustrated to the point of extreme, have a good cry. It flushes out the system and allows you to refocus and move on. Try and Try Again We as adults take it for granted we can push a button...read more...Posted on: May 18 2009 - 06:20:00 AMTuTu Much (or Ballerina Brilliance) | Moms Miami TuTu Much (or Ballerina Brilliance)
I have put Penelope into ballet. Well, actually, climb under a row of chairs and jump up and down on a trampoline “ballet”, but ballet nonetheless as that is what the course guide calls it. She asked and asked to take it after she saw her cousin's ballet outfit. I think Baryshnikov has nothing to fear even as he approaches 60 and in ballet years that equals 569 years old. ...read more...Posted on: May 11 2009 - 09:10:00 AMHow To Raise a Happy Child on $0 a Day | Moms Miami How To Raise a Happy Child on $0 a Day
I read a story about a dad prepping his son for the NFL by stretching his hamstrings as an infant, before he could walk. Other parents drill their kids on Chinese letters and classical art, publicly announcing their goals with Harvard onesies. I have a friend who is worried her 6 month old won’t make it into gifted. He can be tested, at the earliest18 months from now. Gifted smifted....read more...Posted on: May 4 2009 - 06:15:00 AMGAMBLERS MOMS-NONYMOUS | Moms Miami GAMBLERS MOMS-NONYMOUS
Moms are the biggest gamblers. All of us. We’ve placed over $350,000*, at least 18 years of our life, and the future of our genes, all on some guy. Sure it takes two to have a child but we’re the ones with the power to decide just who that is. Now there’s never a 100% guarantee with genetics – with exceptions like if you have absolutely no 6’7” albinos in your...read more...Posted on: Apr 29 2009 - 06:10:00 AMSINGLE MOM DATING | Moms Miami SINGLE MOM DATING
Yes, I date. I’m a dating single mom and it’s hard. Really hard. Even harder than the single mom part. Over the past 2 years, I’ve been constantly adjusting and readjusting my thinking as to do I even want a man in my/our life? My toddler and I have a pretty good little party going on and I’m not sure about letting anyone crash it. Of course, in many...read more...Posted on: Apr 20 2009 - 11:00:00 AMPLAYING FAVORITES (and beating the odds) | Moms Miami PLAYING FAVORITES (and beating the odds)
MY CHILD IS THE CUTEST, SMARTEST, SWEETEST, MOST THOUGHTFUL, FUNNY, AWESOME, PERFECT, CLEVER CHILD EVER JUST LIKE YOU THINK YOURS IS And you know something, I think we’re both right. Each kid has something so special to offer. I read about a 12 year old who just got into FIU for physics. By the time he was my daughter’s age (2), he was already...read more...Posted on: Apr 13 2009 - 06:10:00 AMThe Bulls**t of Breast-feeding | Moms Miami The Bulls**t of Breast-feeding
No matter what playground or mommy group I belong to there is always a mom who wants to argue about breastfeeding. The ones who want to argue are always for it. On behalf of the pregnant women who are usually the targets of the unsolicited advice, I politely ask these advocates, “How do you know?” The answer is they don’t. They can’t. There is no way anyone can prove...read more...Posted on: Mar 30 2009 - 11:40:00 AMClimaxing During Childbirth | Moms Miami Climaxing During Childbirth
Important news for anyone who is pregnant or getting pregnant: you have one more hoop to jump through if you want to give birth the “right” way. For women who have just moved here from the jungle (one without TV or Internet) or have never spent Tuesday morning at a Gymboree, the “right” way is via natural birth. This means a midwife, a birthing tank, and a dolphin. No medicines and no...read more...Posted on: Mar 19 2009 - 03:25:00 PMAn Heir and a Spare | Moms Miami An Heir and a Spare
I’m putting all my eggs into one basket - from now until menopause - all my hopes, dreams, and genes. I’m stopping at one. I’ve done the soul searching. I don’t want another child. I’m more than happy and satisfied with the one I’ve got. I hear no higher calling except the one from the top of the stairs saying, “Mom, I need to go pee-pee.”...read more...Posted on: Mar 12 2009 - 10:30:00 PMLearn, Baby, Learn. Time is running out! | Moms Miami Learn, Baby, Learn. Time is running out!
This morning my mom informed me that Penelope’s brain was 75% of the way developed. Thank you, experts of Good Housekeeping . I thought you were a feel good magazine. Now you have me worried whether I’m a good mom or not. My daughter’s brain is 75% developed and what does she know. Why didn’t someone warn me at the 50% mark? Everyone who knows me knows I procrastinate....read more...Posted on: Mar 3 2009 - 02:35:00 PMAiming for the middle | Moms Miami Aiming for the middle
I’ve been caught up in the recession. Super. A company that bills itself as “The World’s Biggest Engagement Store” won’t pay me the money it owes me. Here I’ve been writing about the joy and happiness of getting engaged with the sap and sentiment of the “perfect proposal”. Here I was selling happiness, hope and memories of a lifetime –and doing it...read more...Posted on: Feb 25 2009 - 09:55:00 AMMasters of the Uterus | Moms Miami Masters of the Uterus
Evolution is moving in the right direction. Thanks to science we no longer need men. We can kill bugs, fix leaky faucets, and have children on our own. All we need is a few token breeder males, a stud farm of sorts. We'll keep the handsome, smart ones, who aren’t afraid to express their emotions. What a fantastic way to move forward. We can even choose the sex of our...read more...i'm going to have octuplets too! | Moms Miami i'm going to have octuplets too!
Ugh. Have you ever felt too stressed to do something you love to do? I love to write but I am just so stressed right now and eating my way through a box of Cheez-it's as I think of clever, hopefully funny things to write that people will actually want to read. As I stress about that, I stress about wanting to lose weight. I eat more Cheez-Its. There’s this to write and then I am...read more...Ooops. There goes my career. | Moms Miami Ooops. There goes my career.
Before I had my daughter I was living in New York City, working for top-notch ad firms, wining and dining and being wined and dined. I had been working full time in advertising in NY since I was 19. I was a creative director. I worked on national and international accounts. (How fun to turn on the TV and there is the commercial you did.) I had a book agent. I had a self-published book for...read more...Posted on: Feb 2 2009 - 12:00:00 AMmaking memories to forget | Moms Miami making memories to forget
Here I am. It’s midnight and I’m looking for a weekend activity for us to do that Penelope won’t remember we did. Like many moms, I want to fill my child’s days with enriching activities and cherished memories. I want her to have a rich, textured life chock full of good experiences. I want her to never be able to say “You never took me to anything” or “You never...read more...Tigers, clowns and toddlers. O my. | Moms Miami Tigers, clowns and toddlers. O my.
I took Penelope to the circus. Ringling Brothers must have spent millions putting that spectacle together. I hadn’t been in years and years, not since I was around 10 or so and I was amazed. It was glitzier and more polished than I had remembered it. For $30 or so a ticket this blew away most of the things I had seen on Broadway for $90 a ticket, especially most of the plays whose only saving grace was...read more...Posted on: Jan 19 2009 - 10:20:00 PMI'm just a mom who can't say no... | Moms Miami I'm just a mom who can't say no...
One of the hardest parts about being a mom is saying no. I mean sometimes it's easy. Penelope wants to play with the stove. "No!" Penelope wants to play near traffic. "No!" Penelope wants to eat that caterpillar. "No!" I don't care if it’s a gourmet food in another part of the world. Unlike tongue, its not a gross food approved here in...read more...Posted on: Jan 13 2009 - 08:45:00 AMHi! (Please don’t talk to me.) | Moms Miami Hi! (Please don’t talk to me.)
There, my daughter said it again. This time to the man in front of us at the grocery store. Never mind that he’s shuffling, talking to himself, smells kind of bad and is counting out crumpled dollar bills for the purchase of a bottle of wine, two bananas and a bag of hamburger meat. Maybe it's the bananas that caught her attention. Maybe she’s indicating to me she’ll...read more...Posted on: Jan 5 2009 - 11:15:00 PMBREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO | Moms Miami BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
Breaking up with a boyfriend is nothing compared to breaking up with your therapist. I am so addicted to her 45-minute an hour company. She is the mother I never had, one that listens and gives her support without sarcasm and guilt. The one who will give you advice when you’re crying and not wrap up the conversation by asking you when you plan on cleaning the cat box. Well, to be...read more...Posted on: Dec 22 2008 - 12:50:00 AMI hate you Mom | Moms Miami I hate you Mom
Drugs, smoking, free love, goth, or scientology? One day my little girl is going to rebel in a bigger way than taking a stand against the toothbrush. All kids do. What’s it going to be and what’s a mom supposed to do? Guide it. My job to make sure she doesn’t pick something utterly stupid and permanently damaging. Like drugs or large butterfly tattoos. Hair dye,...read more...Mom, Penelope, Captain Hook and Me | Moms Miami Mom, Penelope, Captain Hook and Me
Three generations of Hellers went to Disney World this past weekend. My mom, my daughter and me. It was my idea to celebrate her two-year birthday with great fanfare and excitement that didn’t include me picking out party favors at Target. What a great memory for my mom and me… and some subconscious memories for Penelope. I am convinced her clearest memory will be of the bus from the...read more...Posted on: Nov 24 2008 - 03:25:00 PMYou asked for it.... | Moms Miami You asked for it....
Our two-year refuses to sit in a booster seat but is too small to sit at the table. What should we do? Play dough. Plastic dinosaurs. The entire bread basket and all the butter. Anything that will distract the child from the original issue of the chair. At this tender transitional age, the chair is symbolic. It’s not that they want to sit on...read more...Posted on: Nov 10 2008 - 06:10:00 AMAimee's Halloween Recap | Moms Miami Aimee's Halloween Recap
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I love the mystery, the night and the candy, but especially the creativity. Even if it just mean your neighbors have gone to Kmart and bought some décor, there’s much creativity in the way its arranged. A 6-foot tall Pooh bear Halloween inflatable alone comes across quite differently with a grim reaper posed next to it. Or, the way...read more...Posted on: Nov 3 2008 - 12:25:00 AMGentle Answers for Dear Questioners | Moms Miami Gentle Answers for Dear Questioners
Questions wanted!!!! I've decided to give my blog a little spin so i can ease into this once a week rather than every 2 weeks. So here it is, A question and answer column of sorts... today i offer some samples from a book i worked on about Love And no question, Love has to do with mommys! without love how many of us would have our kids? My blog will be answering Mommy questions every other...read more...Posted on: Oct 27 2008 - 06:10:00 AM6 INCHERS AND THE PLAYGROUND | Moms Miami 6 INCHERS AND THE PLAYGROUND
Please, someone, anyone, explain to me why some moms wear 6-inch heels to the playground -- I won’t even comment on the 7 and 8-inchers. We’re not talking moms who just came home from work. We’re talking about moms, out in the playground mid day, who obviously don’t work, unless they work nights and they look too fresh faced for that. First off, kudos to them for being out...read more...Posted on: Oct 13 2008 - 06:10:00 AMIT'S ALL ABOUT THE WALLS | Moms Miami IT'S ALL ABOUT THE WALLS
Non-scientifically I’ve broken the world into two kinds of moms. Those who let their kids touch the walls and those who don’t. Personally, I let my kid touch my walls. I let adults and other kids touch them too. I touch them and lean against them. The cats brush against them. What’s the big deal?, I think. If the walls get touched, you wipe it off. I don’t...read more...Posted on: Sep 29 2008 - 06:10:00 AMMY CHILD PRODIGY | Moms Miami MY CHILD PRODIGY
My child will be 2 in November. Her time clock for being a child prodigy is running out. And so far she’s showing no signs of being an overachiever. Who’s going to support me in my middle age? What’s a mom to do? Why didn’t Shirley Temple’s mom write a tell-all? (I can't think of any celebrity child of today whose mom I'd want to...read more...Posted on: Sep 11 2008 - 06:10:00 AMMamas and Mama’s Boys | Moms Miami Mamas and Mama’s Boys
Over my dead body. That’s what his mom said when my ex-boyfriend wanted to introduce her to me. I fit everything I thought someone would want in a daughter in law: I had a job, a career even; very few demands; independent; stable; smart, creative, well-read, educated; washing machine familiar; good family; smoking/drug/disease free; family oriented; fashion conscious; financially stable; proven record...read more...Posted on: Aug 28 2008 - 06:10:00 AMSex and the Single Mom | Moms Miami Sex and the Single Mom
So here’s what he told me: He said he couldn’t fall in love with me because I didn’t put him first. Put him first? Before a 20 month old who can't even tie her own shoes? He wanted me to put him first -- AND he put himself first too. That’s fuzzy math for you. Well, some other woman can have him. When you have a child you can no longer give in...read more...Posted on: Aug 14 2008 - 06:55:00 AMTOP 10 FOR SINGLE MOMS: IF YOU HEAR THESE WORDS FROM A DATE...RUN, RUN FAST. | Moms Miami TOP 10 FOR SINGLE MOMS: IF YOU HEAR THESE WORDS FROM A DATE...RUN, RUN FAST.
OK so after 7 months of dating, I broke up with my boyfriend or rather, he broke up with me. Turns out he doesn't like children and i think Penelope throwing chili on him cemented that decision. Now I know enough to write a book. Welcome to my first installment of "A Single Moms Guide to Dating” Hi Single moms, you don’t have to wait 7 months like me to find out that...read more...Posted on: Jul 31 2008 - 06:10:00 AMElmo, Bathing and the 5 stages of grief | Moms Miami Elmo, Bathing and the 5 stages of grief
My daughter turned 19 months and I’m grieving. Where did my little happy pre- two year old go? She fights me about getting in the bath, does the most amazing backbends while I’m buckling her in her car seat and just the other day, threw a bowl of chili on my boyfriend. 1. Denial: This can't be happening to me, I read the mommy books and followed the directions and she’s not 2 yet....read more...Penélope and the Plane | Moms Miami Penélope and the Plane
Penélope and I are back from our family reunion safe and sound. However, I am not sure what to feel about the nice girl who was sitting next to us on the plane. For her $250 ticket, she got more than a trip to Detroit. I think we convinced her not to have children. She must have been about 22, young enough not to give a second thought to sitting next to a mom with a 18 month old...read more...Take my family (reunion) please... | Moms Miami Take my family (reunion) please...
coming soon, part 2 read more...Posted on: Jun 26 2008 - 02:40:00 AMMY THREE (3!!!) FULL-TIME JOBS | Moms Miami MY THREE (3!!!) FULL-TIME JOBS
Mommy. Worker. Housekeeper. I am having trouble holding down my three full time jobs. To get everything done I need a 32-hour day and then 7 additional hours for sleep. I need to find one of those Twilight Zone monkey’s paws where when you light the wicks, time stops for everyone but you. I’d spend the time getting my house in order. Partially because the manicurists/ masseuse/ hair...read more...Posted on: Jun 20 2008 - 06:10:00 AMMommy plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus | Moms Miami Mommy plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus
“I am not a napkin,” my sister said to her daughter as we were sitting in a pizza place after a nice morning of swimming and that made me laugh. Yes, her 3 year old was using her shirt to clean the sauce off her hands. It made me think. We’re not only mothers. We’re not only human. Us moms can out stock a Wal-Mart. My personal animal vegetable mineral...read more...Harvard? Hurry! Now may be too late! | Moms Miami Harvard? Hurry! Now may be too late!
Doctor. Lawyer. Accountant. Dentist. In many minds, an ideal family would have one of each. Now we need to add one more to the list: College Advisor. Penelope is 18 months old and it doesn’t look like it’s too early to start preparing for the application process or those SATs. In fact, I think she's already falling behind. Parenting...read more...Remembering the Firsts | Moms Miami Remembering the Firsts
We all want to be there for their firsts. The first time they smile, the first time they clap, the first time they stand, the first time they walk. That’s a lot of pressure to be with your child all the time. But I’d have to be with her all the time to fill out her blank “About Me” book. Every first needs an exact date, time, place and circumstance. Who was...read more...Yes. Your child is fascinating. | Moms Miami Yes. Your child is fascinating.
Yay. Your child can clap on cue! Thanks for sharing. Now can I please go. I want to see what my daughter is doing. I think she’s trying to eat a rock. I’m not sure what it is with parents that they want (need?) to have their child perform for others. Like the parrot who can sing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”. If you tell me your child can...read more...Happy Post Mother’s Day to Me! | Moms Miami Happy Post Mother’s Day to Me!
Wow!...I’m a mother!... I can’t believe it!....I still feel so…childish........... How did this wonderful little person now standing in her crib looking at me while I type and saying “Me, Me, Me” while pointing at her chest come to, well, me? Hold on I have to take care of “me” ………… (time passing)...read more...Mine vs. Yours | Moms Miami Mine vs. Yours
Welcome to the playground. My kid is better than yours. Here I thought the world of advertising was the most cut throat competitive part of my life, but the playground beats it all. And it’s not the kids who make it ulcer inducing. For the most part, they don’t even know they’re competing. Like two fighters in a ring with chalk outlines on the floor, not the CSI kind, more like...read more...See you on South Beach...in 16 years. | Moms Miami See you on South Beach...in 16 years.
What baby whispering skills do some moms have that I don’t? How can they be out, dining on Lincoln Road, having a peaceful grown-up evening at 10 p.m. with their kids? On the few tri-yearly occasions I can actually make it out of the house at night and go to South Beach, I see them outside, under the umbrellas and stars, sharing a meal with their friends, a bottle of wine between them, the miracle child sitting...read more...THAT CHILD!!!! ...is mine... | Moms Miami THAT CHILD!!!! ...is mine...
My child is “That child ” . W hile the other kids are participating in music class with the proper buoyant enthusiasm, mine’s the one paying no attention whatsoever. She’s busy walking around the class, enjoying the scenery, testing the boundaries and the cabinet handles, swigging from a sippy cup full of milk and greeting everyone with a big, cheerful wave and signature...read more...Mourning Showers | Moms Miami Mourning Showers
I used to take 2 showers a day, one in the morning and one at night. Not because I felt dirty, but because it relaxed me. This was how I’d wake up, organize my thoughts, center myself, and, most importantly, get my frizzy-curly hair into a manageable place. And I was living up north where showers (water) were free. They’re calorie-free, too, so lovely all around. So for years and years...read more...FORGET JUNO. OUT-OF-WEDLOCK BIRTHS ARE A NATIONAL CATASTROPHE. | Moms Miami FORGET JUNO. OUT-OF-WEDLOCK BIRTHS ARE A NATIONAL CATASTROPHE.
Sad when such a declaration can make a headline. Someone might actually believe it. According to this statement in bold, screaming caps, I am contributing to a national catastrophe. (Worse than Iraq? Better? The author doesn’t specify.) It’s not my headline. It’s Emily Yoffe’s and she’s the advice columnist for Slate. (Note: This article did not offer advice. http://www.slate.com/id/2185944/)...read more...And Baby Makes 2 | Moms Miami And Baby Makes 2
“Good lord”, said my therapist when I told her I was trying to have another baby with my husband. “You haven’t even recovered from your other 2 baby losses. And all you do with your husband is fight. You don’t even seem to like him.” “Good lord”, said my therapist when I told her about all the infertility things I was now going through again, for a third time. The...read more...Posted on: Mar 14 2008 - 05:00:00 AM
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